Let it all go.

I guess you can say, from here on out I'm looking forward to the future and leaving everything that has happened to me in the last 6 months behind for good. I think it's time... and although I'm still fighting the good fight, I will continue to do so, even if it kills me. I wish I could say that I'm able to let go of the memories and COMPLETELY pretend like nothing ever existed, but quite frankly that would be silly. I still think of you... sometimes it still hurts... I will get through this. I'm holding my head forever high and will accomplish everything that I've wanted to do for the past few years. I will succeed.

This accident bull shit is finally subsiding. My lost wages claim representative finally called me today. I've been leaving him nasty messages since the first letter I got in the mail from him, which was in April. My money is on the fact that I called my insurance agent and told him what was going on and he took matters into his own hand, because my mom and I threatened to leave Allstate, considering this accident happened on March 1st. He told me to disregard any notices I've been getting from him and that all he needed was to verify the dates I was out of work because apparently, my higher boss at my old job filled out the paperwork and put that I RESIGNED WILLINGLY on April 23rd. I'm like NO NO NO. I resigned because I had no other choice. I went back to work on April 23rd to find out that my position had been filled and that should I have decided to stay with the company, I'd be getting about 10 hours a week instead of my usual 40 hours a week. The representative then asked me if I found a new job and then told me that he'd be sending me a check that covers my lost wages from March 3rd - June 3rd. Originally, I was getting a check that covered March 3 - April 23, which came out to about $1,900. Now, I'm getting about $4,000-$4,200. :) So, all the nasty messages and complaints payed off.

I got the settlement for the damages to my car and bodily injury from the other guys insurance company two weeks ago. I wouldn't have gotten a dime if I didn't threaten to sue his insurance company. They sent me a check a week later and with that, I immediately went to a dealership and bought a car. :) I bring it home tomorrow. Yippie!

So now I have a car, and enough money to do my two weeks of Warped and still have money to spare. :)

This is the start of my future.

Next up: Enrolling into school. :)

Things are changing, for the better.

This week has probably been one of the most accomplishing weeks that I've had in quite a long time.

1) I spoke to my insurance representative who is handling the no fault / medical part of the claim from the accident. I was sick of waiting for someone to contact me regarding when I'd be receiving a check (they owe me approximately $2,000 from me being out of work for so long.) She told me that it looked as if they had everything they needed to go ahead and process everything to get me my lost wages. She said that there was another guy, handling that part of the claim and that she'd talk to him to see what was going on. She put me on hold for a moment and said that he indeed had everything he needed to process it and to call him at the end of the week to see where it sits. For the first time, she asked me how I was doing since the accident happened. I told her I was still struggling because I lost my job and have been without a dime since the accident. She told me to explain that to Alex (the other guy working on the claim) and that he might be able to speed the process up a little bit. --- All I have to say is THANK FUCKING GOD. I need this.

2) I got hired at the Clarion Hotel. I started yesterday and got to learn some of the basics, although they are very VERY short handed and everything was happening so fast that it was enough to make my head spin. The good part is that I finally have a job and can finally support myself once again and not have to deal with my parents supporting me. (IE: paying my cell phone bill, paying my credit cards bills (3 of them!), putting gas in the car, buying me things I need/want, etc.) I suppose I should say I no longer have to borrow money off my friends, because a couple of them have been beyond amazing with borrowing me money.

3) Yesterday I woke up to a voicemail from the other guy's insurance claim representative. He explained to me that he received the information I'd sent him in the mail last week and that although I payed $2,500 for my car, I wouldn't get nearly as much as I'd paid for it because I had purchased it over a year and a half ago and that his clients were not accepting liability on it, mainly because our statements were conflicting and we were pointing the blame at each other. (You old fucks KNOW it was your fault!) Anyhow, they settled to offer me $2,500 for my bodily injuries issue and loss of the car. It's not nearly what I could be getting... but I'm seriously over all this accident bullshit. It's enough to put down as a down payment on a car. I should have that $2,500 in about 2 weeks.

Along with all of this, I told my managers I needed two weeks off in July because of the two week Warped Tour gig I'd be doing. They were perfectly fine with it. So, what's up new job. What's up $4,500. What's up new car... and WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WARPED TOUR! I haven't been this happy in a long time.

Then, it hit: Cody and that girl are officially together. This had been the only downfall of my week... It's not supposed to bother me... and I'm trying REALLY hard not to let it bother me.. it's just really fucking mind boggling. I didn't expect him to move on so quickly. Three months might seem like a long time to some people, but it is definitely not a long time in my mind. I'll be okay... I just need to deal with this the best way that I can/know how.

Anyways, I couldn't thank my family and friends enough for sticking by me during all of this. It's been so frustrating... through all the complaining, stress and tears... I'm really happy that you all were there for me. It means a lot more than I can put into words.