Well, you said you wanted war..

This is really hard for me to admit, but I'm going to say it.
Everybody and their fucking mothers are right about me.

I don't have the ability to read well into guys.
I never have. It's just not as easy for me as it is for others.
I have a really hard time opening up. I have trust issues.
but for good reason.
I have horrible anxiety and am easily overwhelmed.
I have my own insecurities... and sometimes;
all I need is that little extra push.. and a little leverage.

This isn't only about guys. That's not what this is entirely about.

I always say that I don't want to depend on others,
but let's face the facts, sometimes I need too.
I only have a few that I can absolutely depend on..
but right now, every single one of them has their own shit to deal with
and I have no one to go to that can even begin to try and help me.

I feel trapped.
Legs buckle, knees hit the ground.
and there I am, watching my world spin in circles;
completely unaware of what's happening around me.

lost.